why are there no compliments

[foxydebs]

I work as a nurse on a busy medical ward and our ward receives quite a few compliments we have even had money donated after someone has died, boxes of chocolates and bottles of wine given as thank you presents. One of the ladys i nursed recently hit the nail o n the head and said people are quick to criticise when things are wrong but not to praise when things are right

[craigwalsh]

Your colleague was absolutely right.

Folks (myself included) are often quicker to complain than we are to compliment. Not only in the NHS world, but in general.

We had a fantastic flight from Dubai to London on BA in November of last year. We had three screaming children in the row behind us who kept hitting the back of our seats, screaming, etc. The usual kids-will-be-kids stuff that's just part of life.

While I was standing in the queue for the loo, I said to the flight attendant, "There's absolutely nothing you can do about this, but . . . " and I told her about my discomfort. It made me feel good just to tell someone. It made me feel better when she said, "Oh, but I can do something about it." And she moved my wife and me to First Class.

I got her name off of her badge, and wrote it inside a book I was reading at the time. I know right where that book is: despite the passage of a year, I still haven't written a letter to BA. And I feel guilty about that.

If the flight attendant had spilled red wine on me, I bet I would have written the letter as soon as I got home.

In fact I feel so guilty, when I finish this post I'm going to get the book and find the name of the BA Chairman on their website and drop him a note. ;)

When I spent 13 hours in A&E in May, many of the nurses were fantastic, particularly when they had to "log roll" me on and off of gurneys and X-ray tables. But the doctors and radiologist failed to find the fracture in my back. Do I compliment -- or complain?

I recongise that there are many talented and caring folks within the NHS, which is why I created a Compliments section on this forum. Thank you for breaking the duck on this section.

[turnthetables]

Apart from acts which are outside of expected duty, im not sure compliments should be too important. Surely an excellent service should be considered normal and anything below should be complained about.

[craigwalsh]

Hi, Turnthetables (great user name, BTW) ---

Welcome to this new forum. Glad to have you here, and look forward to reading your postings.

I agree with you.

On the other side of the coin, when I was in A&E for a dozen or so hours, there were some nurses and doctors who were incredibly kind. They had to keep "log rolling" me off of gurneys and onto X-ray tables and that slide thing that goes into a CAT scan machine. I'm no expert on the "log roll," but they seemed very proficient and were certainly very considerate.

Having said all that, they still failed to discover that I'd fractured my back at T11 (between the sholder blades). They completely missed this on the x-rays and CAT scans: both were too low. And they sent me out into the world with a fractured back, and some strong paracetamol.

So do I compliment them for being kind and doing a good job of "log rolling?" Or do I grumble at the blatant misdiagnosis?

I think the name of this website answers that question.

[Elen]

Apart from acts which are outside of expected duty, im not sure compliments should be too important. Surely an excellent service should be considered normal and anything below should be complained about.

Compliments, perhaps not, but appreciation for the service provided isn't too much to ask for if you're providing a good one, surely?

[zippyRN]

Apart from acts which are outside of expected duty, im not sure compliments should be too important. Surely an excellent service should be considered normal and anything below should be complained about.

equally then an acceptable standard of behaviour from patients and especially from relatives and friends should be the norm ....

[matab]

The problem is, the patients are often very ill and this sometimes effects their behaviour. Its hard to remember to show appreciation when worrying about your health or in extreme pain. The extreme stress on the families also affects their behaviour, especially when the system is overstretched and unable to provide adequately for the needs of the patients at times, never mind the stressed out relatives. My husband worked in the NHS before his accident but he understood this. There was always cards, presents and chocolates brought in for the staff though to show the patients appreciation.
However the staff are being paid to do a professional job, the patients and their families come from all walks of life and are more likely to respond to the emotional situation in a variety of ways that they might not normally. Of course it does not help if they have been drinking or some such. The hospitals need to provide their staff with protection from the dangerous patients and visitors but traumatised and suffering patients and their relatives can't be expected to have impecable standards of behaviour, but I think most seem to behave acceptably. It is a very difficult job when dealing with the public, but especially when having to invade their personal space and perhaps cause additional pain or distress. It is not for the faint hearted and it must wear many people down after years of hearing patients problems all day. The problem is, the NHS is so overstretched, the staff are usually overworked and overtired. They also have to juggle the limited resources. What an impossible job.

[ExNurse]

Hello all

Came across this site by accident but felt compelled to put my two-penneth in!

I have worked for the NHS and also worked in the US for a couple of years.

You get bad and good everywhere - fact! I have worked with some amazing (very undervalued people), I have also worked with some people I would describe as, well, dross. I left because I got sick of it all, plain and simple. As a nurse, you bear the brunt of most peoples frustrations. There are huge pressures on the NHS that are only going to get worse (Immigration is an issue for another forum so I wont get into that here). People are also living longer, wards are full to bursting yet when a member of the nursing staff leaves, do they replace them? No! They just expect the existing staff to motor on and do the best they can - which often falls short.

Despite what some people on here may think, the good ones, the staff who do the job because they do care hate this as much as you do. Imagine working a shift with no break, running around like a blue arsed fly trying to provide the care and the service you know people deserve (I always imagined how I would like my own family to be cared for when thinking about patients) yet feeling everyday like you have failed miserably. I often used to go home knowing that I had done my best but frustrated and angry because I knew it wasnt enough.

On the ward I worked on (surgical) we often had to accept patients with alcohol/drug problems because there were no beds/staff elsewhere. I am not experienced in dealing with the problems these patients have and I felt they should not have been there - it was disruptive and scary for the other patients when they kicked off because they were coming down off whatever they were on and these patients can often become violent. There were also patients who had severe alzheimers and dementia (no surgical issue) and again, these kind of patients often need one to one care and they simply are not going to get it on a busy surgical ward where the staff have patients coming and going from theatre etc.

Yes we complained about this - said how inappropriate it was, we were ignored every time. It was unsafe - for staff and patients.

I also got completely fed up with the arrogance of people - again both colleagues and patients. If I treat people with respect - I expect it back in return - end of.

My experience is obviously from a nursing point of view and there are many posts relating to a wide range of issues regarding the nhs.

I would like to say however - dont think the US system is any better, if you have money there you'll be sound. You'll get the best, providing your insurance company will cover it (and you'd be amazed the lengths they will go to to avoid it!). Cant wait to see what people would think of that lol.

I would also ask that you spare a thought for those on the front line, dont be so quick to generalise because all that will happen is you will lose more and more of the good ones - leaving you with, well, the dross.

And yes, you should compliment when you get good service - its what keeps the decent ones going!